Posts Tagged ‘spanking’

An Ode To Bottom Worship

I love stubble. The texture of it against my skin, the gentle scratching and nuzzling. Particularly when that stubbly face is rubbing snugly up into my most intimate places – the back of my neck and shoulders, across my tummy, and up my thighs as I lie face down on the bed, right into the crease at the top of my legs that leads up to my bottom.

Have I mentioned before how much I love bottom worship? Call it what you like: bottom, bum, (ass, for my American boys) – all the same to me as long as your face is buried right in it. Intimate body worship is one of my favourite things – partly for the stubble, I won’t lie. It’s a gorgeous sensation: gentle roughness that adds to the naughtiness and taboo of having someone’s face pressed deep into me.

 

Bottom Worship


I like to lie on my stomach, back arched slightly to present my bottom in just the right position – pretty as a picture, and all ready for you to push your nose and mouth into. I have a pretty sizeable derriere,  round and smooth and just right for worshipping, smothering, snuggling and nuzzling. I’m often told that it’s perfectly peachy and luscious, and I adore lying on the bed with it presented beautifully for someone. There’s nothing that makes me happier than a guy who wants to bury his face in it, feeling my warm cheeks press against his face, inhaling deeply to get that gorgeous musky aroma. Dropping deep into a really submissive headspace and letting go of every thought in his mind that’s not solely focussed my body.

When I’m in a submissive mood (and when I am, my bottom is invariably being punished), I love indulging in aftercare that focuses purely on my round bottom – you inspecting it closely, gently parting my cheeks and running their hands all over it. Squeezing and rubbing and kissing me all better after a spanking.

When I’m being dominant, I love to use my bottom to smother the face of my play partner: pressing down onto him and intoxicating him with the scent and the sensation and the sexiness. Sometimes teasing with the crease just out of reach, stirring the idea that if he’s a good boy he’ll be rewarded with the taste of my warm skin. Sometimes going all-out as if I’m trying to suffocate him, overwhelming him with the decadent joy of having my hot thighs wrapped right around his face, until he’s red-faced and gasping for air.

Bottom Worship

Domestic Bliss [video]

I am very excited to be presenting this video – a collaboration between Mistress Elita and I. When I told her I had been imagining this domestic servitude scene for many years, she agreed we should play it out in private. When that went extremely well, we decided to make it into a short film. I hope you enjoy it.


 

A long held fantasy of mine is to be kept as a housegirl in a wealthy home – called upon by the formidable Mistress of the house to wait on her hand and foot. 

In my fantasies she is beautiful and imposing; at most times calm and collected, but at other times flying into a cold anger. I take the greatest of care to please her, sliding her beautiful legs into stockings, deliberating over every suspender fastening. Being near to her gorgeous body is hypnotic, and I have to focus all my energies into my fumbling fingers to avoid clumsy mistakes. I want so badly to be a good girl.

Nevertheless, I do something to displease her. In a flash, she switches from warm and loving to furious. I’m bent across the bed, feeling her leather belt smacking hard across my bare cheeks. This is what happens to bad girls. My punishment goes on for some time.

Afterwards, when she is satisfied i’ve been disciplined, she consoles me by playing with my hair and whispering to me. She takes me to the bathroom and runs me a hot bath. When washing my body, she gently massages my sore bottom with soap before inviting me to run tiny kisses down her magnificent body. This is my reward for being a good girl. 

 

Domestic Bliss from Duke on Vimeo.

Dirty Talk 101

Elita & I, whispering something filthy to each other, no doubt.

Today I want to talk in a bit more depth about language, so pull up a chair, lean closer, and let me whisper in your ear…

Dirty talk is often the thread that ties a truly excellent session together. Whispered commands, requests, even begging. Communication isn’t always verbal, but verbal communication can make the difference between getting something you enjoy and something that’s exactly what you want: a fantasy brought to rich and vivid life, with all the dialogue tailored to your taste.

The words people use during dirty talk matter so much, but it’s not often that we think of it. Usually it occurs to us in the negative – if someone uses a particular word that’s a turn off. It’s a bit like the ‘dogs versus cats’ debate – there are some sex words that you either love or hate. Pussy versus cunt – which do you go for? I tend to find that those who like ‘pussy’ will cringe at ‘cunt’ and vice versa. If you like both then congratulations – you’re quite rare! Likewise if you like the word ‘tits’ then you’ll probably be less keen on ‘boobs’ or ‘breasts’ – and vice versa. There are rarely words that are totally universal, although perhaps the closest of these is ‘fuck’ – if I’m telling someone that I’m going to fuck them so thoroughly they’ll be weeping when they come, I’ve rarely been asked to refrain from the f-word in favour of something more coy.

Do you have a preference? I’d love you to tell me. You don’t have to give me the full script – I like to be creative. But hearing the words that turn you on is a nice sparking off point for my imagination. What would you like to call me? What would you like me to call you? That solid, throbbing ache between your legs: is it a cock or a dick? Are you a filthy boy? A slut? A pathetic little bitch?

Those last ones were a bit of a test, I’m cheeky like that. See, strong abuse is a bit of a loaded one when it comes to dirty talk. It may be the hottest thing in the world for you, and your sexual kick words (you know, the ones that kick you up a notch in the scale of horniness) may be ones that you’d never use in polite conversation. Such is the way of the world: often sex is one of the best ways to explore taboos that we’d never dream of breaking outside in the real world. It’s OK – we get to play with these things behind closed doors. But you have to let me know, as I have to let you know. See, words are as powerful (and sometimes even more so) than the things we do in bed. They have the power to bring someone down hard as well as boost them up. Some of the people I’ve played with have had very specific tastes – they want to either call or be called things like ‘slut’, ‘bitch’, – you get the picture. All you need to do is tell me.

Once we’ve got the words, and I know what you like to say and hear, then we can start using them in earnest (or anger, or whichever way best sets the tone). Personally I love a really sound telling-off: either giving one or receiving one. It’s the perfect way to enhance a power-play scene. In school, for instance, the punishment is going to sting so much more if the teacher has already dished out a tongue-lashing. Likewise in the office, squirming as you grip one edge of the boss’s desk, waiting for them to do their worst to your exposed bottom, hearing exactly the words that you long to hear in between strokes.

Perhaps one word per stroke:

You.
-smack-
Useless.
-smack-
Dirty.
-smack-
Boy.
-smack-
Mmm. Happy sigh.

So whether it’s a few key words or phrases that specifically turn you on, or a tirade of filth that you want poured into your ear (or to pour into mine, come to that), let’s talk dirty.

Let’s connect on the verbal level as well as the purely physical one, and swap stories on what makes each of us go ‘mmm.’

Spanking the Mistress – Guest Post

One of my regular visitors wrote this lovely post over at Kink of The Week about spanking me, which I thought my readers would enjoy.

We were well into our session and the beautiful and very skilled Mistress Alex had been great. She seemed to have an intuitive understanding of how I was feeling, moving from soft to hard, pleasure to pain, mild to extreme in response to where I was. She had tested me, pushed me and made me want to please her. She had been both sensual and vicious, rewarding and demanding, friendly and frightening and I was loving all of it.

“Now”, she said, “You are going to spank me. But you will follow my instructions exactly or I shall punish you”. She already had my cock and balls tied tight, something that is always guaranteed to make me feel submissive and owned. She picked up a set of vicious looking nipple clips connected by a weighty chain and applied them one at a time. Sharp jags of pain ran through me and I found myself breathing fast as I tried to overcome the sensation. “Calm your breathing!”, she instructed, “or we shan’t go on”. She attached a dog lead to the chain joining the nipples and gave an experimental tug. Ouch! My sharp intake of breath seemed to satisfy her.

In no time I was sat on the bed with Alex’s beautiful rear over me knee, admiring her incredible tattooed legs.

“Begin”, she commanded. I started. I was tentative at first, light smacks on each side, enjoying the way her silk underwear emphasized the curves of her perfect bottom. The combination of her weight on my tightly bound cock and the swing of the heavy chain on my nipples as my hand moved up and down were creating some real difficulty.

I felt a knife of pain through my nipples as she jerked hard on the lead attached to the clamps. “Harder!. This is supposed to be a spanking, not a massage!”. So I hit her harder. Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, her smooth skin turning red under my hand. Losing concentration as my own pain increased, I landed a blow on the top of round bottom, with the reward of another sharp agonising tug on my nipples. Trying to concentrate on inflicting her pain while suffering my own was challenging but incredibly erotic. This was a different experience for me, pain as a shared, mutual experience. There was never any doubt about who was in charge yet, as her bottom rose again and again to meet my hand, I felt my own power in the situation. After maybe 30 or 40 slaps, she dropped the lead and let her hand slip down between her legs, rubbing fast as I spanked her hard, bringing herself to a powerful gasping orgasm over my knee. I stopped the spanking, allowing one hand to rest on her back, the other stroking her bottom softly for a few moments. Briefly, and rather wonderfully, I felt that she was mine rather than the other way round.

In fact, very briefly. Almost immediately normal service had been resumed and I was over the bed, Alex delivering a lengthy full force belting, breathing hard from the effort. She was hitting me so hard it felt like she had an almost visceral need to re-establish her dominance and control. It hurt like hell but I had spanked the Mistress, and not every submissive can say that.

The Belt: From Top to Bottom

Imagine you’re on a panel tasked with deciding on the sexiest way to get beaten – hand? Tawse? Cane? I know – a dream surely all of us have had at some point. In front of you, a naked subject bends over, and is given a few hard strokes with a selection of different implements: from the bare hand to the stinging cane. And it’s your job to pick which is the best.

What runs through your mind? The sound? Maybe the mark it leaves on naked skin? Perhaps the strength with which you can wield it to get exactly the right level of hot, aching pain.

That last factor is fairly high on my own list, and that’s why the belt is my absolute favourite. That’s not to disparage other implements, of course – hands, tawses, canes and floggers all have their place in my heart. But there’s something particularly special about the belt.

Firstly the sound and sensation of the belt sliding out through the loops: it’s so much more impulsive than other implements, don’t you agree? If you’ve disobeyed me and you deserve a beating, it’s far more convenient for me to correct you in the moment: to order you to drop your pants and bend over whichever item of furniture is closest to hand, whip my belt out through the loops and take out my anger on your poor naked bottom. If you enjoy the kind of harsh, thick whacks that come from a leather belt, then the fact that it can be used with real force and power is definitely a plus point. A beating can be delivered much more powerfully with a belt, as the top draws their arm right back over their shoulder and really goes for it.

As with any implement, it takes time to perfect this skill – the fact that it’s a fun skill to practise is, naturally, an added bonus. Some men come to me with an idea of what they’d like to try, but a certain nervousness about the right way to do it. Totally understandable, and I think it’s the sign of a good lover: after all, it gives me the chance to show you how best to make me shiver with delight when it’s my bottom that you’re going to be lashing. If this is you, and you’d like some instruction in how to get used to it – to find out just how powerful you can feel when you draw your arm back and aim for that delicious, naked, willing bottom then well… what can I say? I’m more than happy to help you in your discovery. It can take some getting used to, as you learn how to deliver the stroke in just the right place, on the fleshiest part of the bottom, leaving bright red stripes with each lash. I’ll share my technique with you so you get to feel the same kind of power that I do – the same rush that comes with total mastery of something so hot.

But if you’d rather just bend over, grit your teeth, and wait for the strokes to fall on your own bum? That can be arranged as well. I assure you that when we’re done, if you don’t agree with me that the belt is the best spanking implement, you’ll at least have it placed pretty firmly in your top three…

And speaking of getting a good belting…See below for a preview of my new video with Mistress Elita – coming to my site soon!

 

Submit or Struggle? The Submissive Dilemma

“Of course I’ll obey you, Mistress” he says to me, with his eyes cast down towards the floor and his hands clasped neatly behind his back. Wearing a collar to show his submission and with his knees spread open wide. “I’ll do anything you say.” And he is so compliant – so obedient, that I know he’s telling the truth. He will obey every single order without question.

That ‘of course’, though? That’s the one mistake he’s made – and I wouldn’t tell him because I wouldn’t want to spoil our fun. I’ll tell you now, though, because it’s an exciting prospect to consider: should all subs obey, or do you enjoy a bit of a struggle?

See, while some people are submissive in this obedient way, others prefer defiance: the dramatic back-and-forward that comes with a submissive that needs to be trained and tamed. Some submissives don’t want to fall at my feet, immediately under a spell – over the course of a long session, they want me to gradually wear them down.

It’s interesting to explore this dynamic because most people have a natural inclination towards one or other of these extremes. As with almost everything sexual, we all fall somewhere on a spectrum: it’s not as simple as being an obedient sub or a bratty sub. Some people like to obey but with a tiny hint of cheekiness. A wry smile as they murmur “yes Mistress,” their mouth forming the words but their eyes flashing defiance. Perhaps that’s what will earn them their punishment. For those people, it’s often the case that the punishment is what they’re really angling for: they want a beating, but the beating won’t be fun unless they’ve done things to really deserve it.

Others might enjoy a beating for pleasure, but would be genuinely heartbroken to receive one as punishment. To the gent I introduced you to at the beginning, a punishment spanking would represent his personal failure as a submissive. If he’s completed the tasks I’ve set for him – perhaps some bottom worship, snuffling contentedly away at me while I relax on the bed – then a reward of a warm red bum might be exactly what he’s looking for. But a warm red bum because I’m displeased with him? Oh, his worst nightmare.

“I’m so sorry Mistress,” he might offer, with genuine misery in his eyes, and humiliation curling his toes and giving him a deep red, shameful blush. “I’ll do better next time.”

See it’s easy to put yourself in one box or another – Dom, Sub, Switch – and assume everyone sees it through the same lens that you do. But if that were the case then we’d never have any fun – we’d all be desperately predictable. The fact that each type of submission is unique means that from the moment you get in touch to the very first time you kneel in front of me, our experience together will be utterly individual. Likewise if you prefer to be the top – I like to know whether to meet your first ever order with unquestioning obedience, or the flash of disrespect that will give you an excuse to punish me.

It’s one of the things I find most enjoyable: finding out what your particular kinks and quirks are. So if you’re thinking of playing with me, tell me more than just your tendency towards ‘Dom’ or ‘Sub’ – give me the detail that helps me anticipate what our session will be like. Have a think about the one question below. Don’t be nervous – it’s not a trick question. There is no one type of submissive that will please me more than another, no one type of dominance that is the ‘correct’ way to do things. In fact, the very existence of this spectrum of dominance and submission is what makes the whole thing so enjoyable. So to keep things fun, I’m setting you some fun homework – close your eyes, imagine your perfect D/s scene, and then answer the following question:

Should orders always be obeyed, or do you think obedience should be earned through resistance?

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Alex Explains: Spanking For Beginners

Many’s the time I have dispensed the following advice to gentlemen taking their first tentative steps towards fulfilling their dominant potential. Whilst I love to provide guidance on my favourite activity, I feel that some of the key points would be best collected here online, for a number of reasons. Perhaps you’re too shy to have arranged to meet me yet, convinced you haven’t a clue what to do if you found a bottom exposed over your lap? Or maybe you’d like to recap on what I mentioned to you in our session, having been very distracted by the aforementioned derriere? My main reason for putting my thoughts on the matter into words though, is that I don’t think there’s any such thing as too much education, and if my tips on spanking can help a novice spank his wife to orgasm, or figure out best on how he’d like to receive a spanking, or just have a nice read on the train (careful who’s looking over your shoulder now!) then I’ll be very satisfied.

Firstly communication is key. Before any fun commences, chat with your play partner about their particular tastes, tendencies and inclinations when it comes to spanking. Do they like the ritualistic nature of punishment? The element of humiliation, shame and embarrassment? Are they keen to explore the power exchange, to savour the moment indignant struggle becomes willing compliance? Or perhaps they’re strictly interested in how a set of pale white cheeks will respond to firm discipline, first by going pink and warm, before turning a deep red or maybe acquiring some deep red stripes or welts? Ask them. Agree on a communication method such as a traffic-light system or safe-word, so the spankee can indicate their sensation mid-play.  This is especially important when you are playing with a professional submissive, switch or domme, because you have a limited time only, and consent can not be assumed from intimacy or familiarity.

I always like to start spankings over clothing – both the spanker and the spankee then get the chance to size up the others technique or responses, which means no nasty surprises! I also enjoy the ritualistic nature of removing one piece of clothing at a time, and making that last as long as possible is part of the fun! I like to go over a person’s lap for a spanking and be made to stand and strip off before bending back across them again.

After clothes come off, the spanking can continue over underwear. I personally enjoy a nice, slow build up, with rhythmic, even spanks landing on each cheek alternately. The best spot for me when I’m receiving a spanking is the fullest part, just above the crease at the top of my leg. I don’t enjoy having my legs spanked, but for some people this is good fun – again, ask for feedback from your spankee as you go along. You should also take care at this stage to also be warming your hand up! Cupping the hand rather than wielding it like a stiff wooden plank will make a nicer sound, feel nicer for the spankee but most importantly allow you to spank for longer without getting sore !

When you’ve warmed up the bottom with some gentle spanking and stroking, which can take varying amounts of time from a minute to ten minutes (or however long you like to linger on this part!) then you can progress to slightly harder smacks. I usually do about 8-16 across one cheek then the other, followed by a few seconds of stroking and squeezing, maybe dragging my fingernails very lightly across the skin. Mixing up the sensations feels great!

As the intensity and firmness of your spanking heats up, so will the spankee’s bottom! When it’s gone nice and pink, gently pull down the underwear (I like this to happen slowly so the elastic in the pants pulls across the warm skin) and continue to spank and stroke, gently increasing in pressure over a period of time.  I find a good rhythm to be essential to my enjoyment of a spanking,

This is often a good time to switch positions if you have a yearning to see your spankee’s bottom in some different positions! You could pop them bending over clasping ankles, or perhaps lying on their back with their legs up over their head? A classic one for ‘visual’ types is in front of a mirror, to better see either the face or bottom.

I personally can take the hardest spankings when I’ve been warmed up and taken slowly up my limits over a period of at least 20 minutes. Sometimes a Dom might wish to accelerate the pace in a shorter time, and that can be fun too, but it means I have to have my pre-negotiated signal at the ready. I will often call out as number as the initial spanks land on me – “three! Six!” – to indicate on a scale of 1-10 how I’m finding the intensity. Seven or eight are my perfect numbers, nine is my upper limit, and “Ten!” is the spanking equivalent of an emergency stop.  This must, of course, be obeyed, just as with the deployment of a safe-word or physical disengagement from the activity. Consent and mutual enjoyment are paramount!

"Ooh! Seven! Perfect!"

“Ooh! Seven! Perfect!”

After the desired level or redness (or contrition!) has been reached, and you consider the spanking to have been effective, it can be nice to apply some soothing cream to the spanked bottom, and rubbing it in slowly is a nice way for things to continue to the next level.

Do leave a comment if you’d like to add your own tips and preferences for spanking. I do hope I’ll be seeing some of you soon for your chance to put all this theory into practise!