Frequently-asked questions

Please read thoroughly the answers to my most frequently asked questions here, and get in touch if there’s still something you are unsure about. 

  • You describe yourself in this site as a domme, a sub, a switch and an escort. What do these terms mean?

    It means that we can play out BDSM fantasies in which I either take a dominant role, a submissive one, or do one after the other (known in BDSM parlance as ‘switching’) The fact that I’m also an escort, or companion, means that our sessions can include full erotic contact and sexual release, if that’s what you’d like to do, as well as the possibility of drinks, dinner dates, overnights and travel arrangements.

  • What are your rates?

    I offer bespoke rates, depending on what we get up to in those magical hours. Please contact me with your ideas, and I can let you know the amount. Though do note I will only see new clients for a minimum of two hours.

  • What kind of people are your clients?

    My clients are men, women and couples of varying ages, backgrounds and identities.. Many of the people I work with are switches like me, looking to explore elements of both sides of the D/s dynamic with one provider. This might be within the same scene, or over a series of concurrent sessions. I also see many clients who identify as purely submissive, (who find my history as a ‘switch-mistress’ interesting) as well as primarily dominant people who would like to learn more about how subbing feels. Some people just aren’t sure how they identify their kinks or sexuality until they meet me, and we have the chance to experiment safely and find the answers together. For this reason, I work with many newcomers to BDSM play, which I find very gratifying.

  • How should I contact you?
    • Please treat getting in touch with me as an application. If you are serious about a session I will need to get a sense of that in your email. I don’t book sessions with just anyone – I select only the most interesting gentleman I hear from. The more information you give me, the more likely you will hear from me- if I am not a good match for your interests, I’m happy to refer you to someone else.
    • Do give as much detail as possible via the form on my contact page, but take care not to be salacious or over the top. The purpose of the communication is to convey information about what your ideas for the session are. (The racy part comes later!)
    • Please just address me as Alex in your email, rather than initiating a D/s dynamic through terms like ‘Mistress’ or ‘slave.’ That is something that only happens after we’ve begun having sessions.
    • Your application should outline your experience (including any references from other providers), interests/kinks/fetishes, hard limits, medical conditions, the rough outline of how you would like a session to go, and any other information you feel is relevant. Please also provide an indication of how long you wish to session for, and some possible dates. I am not able to give you an idea of pricing until I have the above information.
    • If you are unable to use the contact form for any reason, please write directly at contact.alex.rayne@gmail.com, taking care to include all the information I ask for in the form.
    • Upon receiving your ideas I will let you know of my availability, and we can chat on the phone or via email. Depending on your session, I may require a deposit & additional screening information for my safety.
  • I’d like to see you rather last minute…

    I understand, it can feel rather exciting stumbling across something new you’d like to try! Last minute sessions are very occasionally possible, so I always recommend at least getting in touch to check whether I can see you. Please give me as much detail about your desired session as possible via the contact page, including your number, and be patient.

    If you know you can only ever make last-minute enquiries because of other commitments, that’s okay – get in touch in advance introducing yourself anyway, and I can give you my phone number for future contact purposes.

  • Deposits & Screening?
      • I protect my time, earnings & safety by using deposits & various methods of screening at my discretion. This allows me to commit fully to my sessions in advance, knowing that they are firmly fixed in both our schedules, and relax fully in the knowledge that you are who you claim to be.
      • As I incur expenses and decline other commitments when I book a session with you, all deposits are non refundable (The exception being in the unlikely event I were to cancel on you).  If you are unable to make our session and need to cancel within 24 hours, a 50% cancellation fee applies. Please note that those who fail to observe this courtesy will be blacklisted in the London companion & BDSM provider communities.
      • My main method of screening my clients is through their first contact – the information they provide me in their opening email. If you are careless and brief, and omit a short bio or summary of your interests, it may be difficult for me to get a sense of you, and therefore less likely i’ll offer you a session. In these cases, I may choose to ask you to submit provider references, or ID/employment verification.

     

  • Can I call you on the phone?

    Please note that I don’t make bookings with new clients over the phone, as I prefer these to be made online.  Get in touch via my contact form and you will receive my phone number prior to our meeting.

    Regular clients are welcome to get in touch via text, to discuss future sessions.

     

     

     

  • Are you genuinely kinky?

    I’m glad you asked. I’m thoroughly perverted inside and out, and always have been. Whether it was rough outdoor sex in the woods behind my sixth form college, or helping my boyfriends into lacy things and putting lipstick on them, my sexual appetites have always been varied, to say the least. Spanking roleplays and other forms of discipline have been a longtime obsession, and I have a few lovers along the way to thank for an inherited love of bondage, puppy play, and watersports, to name but a few. I seem to absorb and inhabit the tastes of those around me (I suppose I have a fetish for other-people’s-fetishes!) which is why this line of work is so great for me – I get to stretch my erotic boundaries and cross new thresholds of pleasure with a number of different people.

  • I know what my fantasy is, and I want it to be perfect – can I email you?

    By all means, but please keep it very brief in your first email,with just an introduction (as you would make on a dating site) and the basics of what your date or fantasy involves (outfits, activities, kinks, etc) and you can go into more details once you’ve secured a session. If you send me an erotic essay about your specific tastes as a hello, I’m afraid it goes straight in the circular file! I receive many emails every week, and need to be able to ascertain quickly whether we are a match. 

    I like having lots of information after you’ve booked, though. This helps me make your session as good as it can be! Please also feel free to bring along any garments or props you feel would enhance the session.

  • I have never done this before – I’m not even sure what I’ll be into!

    Don’t worry! Plenty of my clients are new to BDSM. Some have literally no idea what they’ll be into, but just have a vague idea about finding submission or dominance erotic. Some of them have worries about not having the necessary technical skills to take part in power exchange properly. Some know that they like the idea of rope bondage or spanking, but feel shy about making it happen. Again, don’t worry. I will put you straight at ease and help you realise your fantasy, whatever it is. You’re in safe, experienced hands.

    My reviews page is a good place to start if you’d like an idea of how my sessions often go! Or you can get to know me a little better by checking out my blog and twitter pages.

  • I’m not based in London (or the UK) – can I see you elsewhere?

    I travel a lot and details of my travel plans are posted on this page – check back for updates if nothing is listed currently. I am also available for bespoke travel arrangements, and consider packing my suitcase full of kink gear and putting it through the airport scanner one of life’s most satisfying bits of mischief.

  • Is it customary to bring something in addition to my fee, like a tip or a gift?

    Some people enjoy giving presents, and others like to reward creative flair and great service with a tip. If you would like to show your appreciation with something extra in this way, you are more than welcome to (see this page for some gift ideas)

  • What about protection?

    I only offer protected sexual services. Nothing belonging to you is going inside me without being covered, and that includes fingers! (Luckily I have somewhat of a glove fetish!) Lube, condoms, dams and gloves are all beside the bed.

    I am sometimes surprised by the lack of knowledge around sexual health in men of a certain age, (I should spank you, really) and would encourage you to let me know if you have any concerns or queries I can answer. Health is paramount!

  • Can you give a gentle caning? I can’t have visible marks when I leave.

    Never fear, I understand well the need for discretion. (I have, on more than one occasion, had the need to hide the evidence of my own cane-related shenanigans!) Years of being a professional submissive have taught me how to administer your punishment properly: I am skilled at using implements in a way that will both thrill you and save you from awkward questions later.

  • I’d like to know more about you. What do you get up to when you’re not working?

    My interests include photography (I shoot erotica & documentary work), tattoos, cycling, Italian food, vintage cameras and arthouse porn. I love travelling, and recent adventures with clients have included caving, kiteboarding, paragliding, skiing and canyoning in amazing locations, though I think one has to reach a certain level of skill before claiming something as a legitimate hobby…

    After 5 years in the world of professional BDSM, I no longer lead any kind of ‘double life’ – my life and my work are blended together, as one would expect of someone with a job they were deeply passionate about. I’m lucky enough to work in a nation where my job is legal, and I am comfortably public about my job to my family, lovers and friends without any shame whatsoever – that’s something I want for all sex workers. Fighting stigma through advocacy and eduction, doing work for the wider sex worker community, and campaigning with peer-led organisations for law reform are incredibly important to me, and I plan to continue putting the privileges I have as an ‘out’ member of the community to good use. I’m proud of the projects I’m working on, but it goes without saying that should you spot me out and about, or discover my other projects and identities online, it would be inappropriate to contact or approach me in any way*. It’s important to me to maintain the delicate client-provider boundary that is essential in our sessions. Just as with a therapist, our intimacy begins and ends with our arrangement. I will immediately cease contact with any prospective or current client who fails to observe this boundary.

    *If you wish to send discreet token of your admiration, an email-forwarded receipt of a donation to SWOU would be the exception to this rule.

  • What’s your favourite kink?

    So difficult! But if you insist…some of my favourite things are spanking (obviously!) bondage, threesomes, secretary/office roleplays, foot worship, pegging, toy play, crossdressing, hostage/kidnap scenes, sounding…the list goes on and on!

    Though I think my absolute favourite activity of all, both as a sub and a domme, is having my bottom worshipped. Extra points if you have beard stubble.

  • What are your no-nos?

    Rudeness/poor communication, being too late or early, and late cancellations. 
    I also don’t like; shouting in roleplays, spitting, or having my nipples handled too roughly. (They’re super sensitive, so do let me show you how I like them to be touched…)

  • I have a disability – is your venue accessible?

    My venue is on the third floor with a lift, though there is a small ‘hump’ upon the threshold to access the apartment.

    My bathroom is not suitable for wheelchair access, however, and for this reason I can see clients who use wheelchairs for an outcall to their hotel and I will waive the outcall fee, if this poses a problem.

  • May I write a review of our session?

    Those that have reviewed me in the past have kept it tasteful and discreet, and I would like that to continue. While I don’t actively discourage reviews, it is important to me that they aren’t disrespectful or salacious . If you would like to write one, I would appreciate it if you would discuss with me first.

  • I’ve seen someone else using your photos/text.

    I’m passionate about how I put myself across on my site – my images & writing are the product of my own hard work & imagination, so naturally from time to time I find that newcomers to the industry have taken heavy inspiration (or else just blatantly copied.)

    This doesn’t worry me too much – no one can imitate the experience I offer – but anyone kind enough to alert me to my doppelgängers (so I can tell them to knock it off) gets a kiss from me.

     

  • I see you have some tattoos…

    Yes, they’re beautiful and I am very proud of them. I consider them one of my best assets but they are usually covered by opaque stockings or schoolgirl socks, sadly. I am happy to show them off for fans of body art, or keep them covered – it’s up to you. Tattoos provide an excellent ready-made reason to punish me, though, if you are the old-fashioned type!

  • Are you ticklish? Where?

    Very much so! I struggle like a wild animal when I’m tickled, and sometimes I can’t help but shriek. My most ticklish spots are feet, thighs, hips, ribs and neck.

  • Are you reference friendly?

    I certainly am. If we’ve met in the last 18 months I am happy to provide a reference for you if another provider requires one.